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Friday, May 9th, 2008
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8:36 pm - Seriously, Sci-Fi?
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Seriously? You bought the rights to Doctor Who. And I saw it, and it was good. Very good indeed. Now, as everyone knows, there's this rather popular spinoff of that show, Torchwood.
But I have no Torchwood. Maybe I missed it. It's possible, I suppose, I wasn't obsessive or anything. You'd think it'd be, well, a weekly thing, for a while, and I'd catch on. It's an obvious leap from the Doctor. But there's definitely no adverts for it. What have we got? What do we get? What spinoff do you use to lead into Doctor Who?
The Sarah Jane Magical Alien Pony Hour? Seriously? What the hell, guys? Where did this come from? I checked left field - it's somewhere farther out. I've never even heard of this. I haven't seen the massive fan communities around it. And, for all as cute as it is, I can see the reason. How... how was this trotted out before bloody Torchwood?
I've had a rough week, Sci-Fi, and I bloody well want answers. And don't give me that "BBC America got there first" nonsense. I won't be having it. I don't care who you have to kill, fix this, and fast.
current mood:  annoyed
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| Thursday, April 3rd, 2008
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3:02 pm - On the craft of Speculative Fiction
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Today's topic: Exposition.
Dearest Author,
The task of a writer working in speculative fiction carries a number of burdens. Yes, your world operates differently from the readers', and there is a necessity to explain the differences. Every author has some degree of this, however, in presenting plot-crucial information not necessarily known to a layman, whether it's police procedure, or the protagonist's/antagonist's warped psyche. The burden is just more common in science fiction and fantasy.
There are some very cliche methods of approaching this. The #1 is definitely "As every schoolchild knows..." This is where two characters encounter something that, to them, should be absolutely mundane, and go into unnecessary detail about its history and function... much like how two friends, about to run out and pick up pizza, might stand in awe of the Toyota in front of them, waxing rhapsodic about combustion chambers and exothermic reactions, and the pioneering work of Daimler, Maybach, and Benz, with perhaps a digression about the varying powers of two- and four-stroke engines, diesel vs gasoline, etc.
What's that? You've never in your life had that happen to you? You don't think most people would recognize those names as more than a vehicle designation? Yeah, that's why the technique rings so. bloody. hollow.
Next up is the perennial classic: #2 "You see, Timmy..." This is the usual Talking Head method, where you trot out some brilliant scientist to explain something slightly less in the realm of "common knowledge". It's almost always just as tacked-on, for the sole purpose of explaining this fine point that you want the reader to know. Again, it usually starts with a tangential encounter with the object, and the layman asking about it - so that, for example, you see a news a story about photon twinning, and, encountering a physics prof, ask him "So how does that work, exactly?" And, luckily, the handful of fine points he has time to enlighten you on are crucial to your survival at the climax. Slightly better, still pretty much a blinking neon sign stating "HERE IS THE INFORMATION THAT YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND MY PLOT!"
And then... hoo boy. Then there's what you've done here. I admit, it's not a classic cliche. It's a brand new one. Have the expert encounter something that he should be intimately familiar with, and ask another expert for information on it.
Seriously. If I am to take your Dr. X, famed researcher of folklore and the paranormal, at face value, he should not turn to his research assistant and say "I need you to look up the name 'Wayland Smith.'" He's mentioned in Beowulf, for fucksakes. He's in the Poetic Edda (Admittedly, under the vastly altered name Völund Smed, who'd connect those?).
I admit, it's not "common knowledge", you can't assume every reader will immediately place him, but a good percentage of regular fantasy readers will instantly recognize that name, and ask themselves why someone who has devoted years of research to European myth and folklore doesn't. That the assistant later says "Here's the infodump, but I suspect you already knew what I'd find" doesn't help, either - it screams "I made you wait for this through several pages when the viewpoint character already knew it."
Here's another one: When your dedicated academic is researching an event for his upcoming book, he shouldn't say "1955? Why does that year sound familiar?" so his research assistant can remind him "Well, Doctor, I thought it might ring a bell: that's the focal point of the event you've been researching for the last several years." The "Absent Minded Professor" stereotype is supposed to forget mundane things, not the goal of his research.
Getting this kind of information out can be a tricky dance - but here's the thing. You populated your book with several characters for whom any of this would be a revelation. The book is pre-Internet, ok, you can't have them take that research track. You can have any number of them naively ask the expert, or simply mention the name, and have him immediately grasp the situation. You don't need Ms. Normal Person to mention it to Dr. Expert and Dr. Expert to delegate Research Assistant, M.A. to look it up.
You also have to ask yourself how necessary the infodump is. Does Wayland's mythic history actually matter in your plot? I'm being serious. Surely you chose him for a reason, but does anything matter beyond "He is a figure out of myth and legend, a cunning smith"? You demonstrate the latter - and good for you, showing is better than telling. The former can be demonstrated too, simply by the expert saying "You met Wayland Smith? Are you playing games with me? 'Haha, Doctor, I just met one of your figments and fables!'" Want to go further? Have him point the non-expert to the passage in Beowulf.
But, please, don't make a production out of finding out something your character should (and many of your readers do in fact) already know, don't spend a page connecting dots you've already emphasized for me. If you can't set up a graceful, non-telegraphed reveal, it should be like ripping off a bandaid - quick and painless as possible, so I don't have too long to focus on it. If you can't find a better way than having the expert tell the audience something, just do that, and be done.
"Wayland Smith? Dr. X thought to himself, the smith who forged Beowulf's armor, the legendary sword Gram? The Germanic Vulcan? And this damnfool claims to have met him in sleepy little Podunk?"
"'1955, Timothy? Are you sure? But... my research places the MacGuffin in Europe in 1954, and it was sighted here in Podunk by 1956!'"
See? Was that so hard? You didn't need to put me through three pages setting up exactly the same information, really, and it would reduce the aerodynamic factor of your book.
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| Monday, March 31st, 2008
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9:33 pm - Naan and Biryani Burgers
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![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) ragnvaeig made naan during the day, for some burgers tonight. I caught a show on the Food Network maybe a week ago, a burger cookoff, and one fellow was making Biryani Burgers, which looked interesting. We skipped the mango salsa (seriously?), and yogurt sauce, but it still turned out pretty good. Unfortunately, there were no major mishaps on my part, and so I don't think I could do a proper episode of Feck It In The Oven on it. I've never made patties before, but it was pretty straightforward.
2 pounds beef sirloin, cubed
1/2 cup chopped onions
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro leaves
2 cloves finely chopped garlic
2 tablespoons biryani curry paste
I pretty much just chopped up the onion, cilantro, and garlic, dumped them in a bowl and mixed, then kneaded them into ground beef - no running cubed sirloin through a meat grinder for me. We didn't have biryani paste, so I used two tablespoons of curry powder, just sprinkled half over, worked it in, sprinkled the other half and worked that in. In the future, I'd probably use more curry powder... the taste was there, but a little subtler than I'd like. I'm a blatant kinda guy. I also probably put in more onion and cilantro this time - I didn't measure anything exactly - but no one complained, despite my poor chopping abilities.
At any rate, the burgers were good, the naan went with it well... I highly recommend both.
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| Tuesday, March 25th, 2008
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7:13 pm - The Treachery of Easter
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So, er. I've been meaning to write something along the lines of an entry for a while now, since nudged by a friend... but I just never seem to know what to say, or, when I think of something, don't feel the place to write it, or don't find time and the moment passes, or...
So, yeah. I'm alive. I made you a funny - but I didn't eated it. Peeps have not been in the house. Just had the idea spring up the other night talking about something absurd, and had to do it. Maybe I'll write a "real" post of some kind, at some point, somehow.
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| Friday, February 22nd, 2008
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4:07 pm - Productive.
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Snowed out today, no work, so I decided to use the afternoon for something useful. ragnvaeig having been under the weather lately, I figure she could use some good news, so I'm sharing: As I speak, every wooden surface in our dining room is being cleaned and polished.
current mood:  accomplished
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| Thursday, January 3rd, 2008
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4:11 pm - Not a real update...
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But I saw it and had to know.
72 wordsTouch Typing for free
Personally, I think it's underrating. Nonsensical phrases are slower for me to type than reasonable ones... and the two-static-lines of text system is silly. Each time I went past two lines (which is a couple at 72wpm) I had this 2-3 character stutter as my eyes did the unnatural up-left to "continue". It's probably only a difference of a couple wpm, but, still, I want credit for 'em. Smaller type, more lines, or input-based scrolling, plskthx (Yes, yes, maybe I'll write one that works my way... but I'd need a phrase/wordbank, and I'm so lazy).
Anyway, still not bad for someone who never learned the traditional methods of "touch typing". I also credit this as one of the reasons I don't already have repetitive stress injuries like some CS folk my age. Thanks for warning me off that crap, Dad.
current mood:  amused
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| Sunday, December 16th, 2007
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12:11 pm - Nerd Sniping.
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| Tuesday, November 20th, 2007
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1:52 pm - iPhhhhtttthhhhhhbbbbbt!
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(Absolute humour va burr86
So, if you watch much TV, you've probably seen one or more of those irritating iPhone commercials. You know the ones, where some joker explains how the iPhone saved his ass when he was too stupid to live. After all, it's infinitely more intelligent to pull out some WAP magic and search the web for a person's name, than stick out your hand and say "Hi, I'm Dave, Samantha's boyfriend," let etiquette take over and get introduced.
One in particular that always made me yell is The Airline Pilot. Some doof in a fake uniform (but apparently a real pilot) explains how his flight was grounded four hours on account of bad weather at Newark, and he just whipped out his trusty iPhone, checked the weather online, and told flight control "Duh, you morons, it's not raining in Newark anymore", magically getting him a liftoff in 30 minutes.
Now, anyone with two braincells to rub together realizes A) it's not that simple, and B) weather.com does not have more up-to-date information than Air Traffic Control. Still, being in that damn commercial, millions of people far less rational than you, gentle reader, have been misled and will be making life hell for aviators for at least a generation.
Well, here's one tale of such.
For those who don't want to follow the link, it's about what you'd expect. Pilot announces weather delay. Bloody git of an iPhone owner whips out his WAP and says "Weather's fine! What aren't you telling us?" Gee, great. That's gotta be a fun note when you're stuck in a tin can with a hundred humanoids - unnecessary panic over The Big Secret That Could Kill Us.
The beauty of it all is in the pilot's (purported) response.
"If the passenger with the iPhone would be kind enough," he began, "to use it to check the weather at our alternate airport, then calculate our revised fuel burn due to being rerouted, then call our dispatcher to arrange our amended release, then make a call to the nearest traffic control center to arrange a new slot time (among all the other aircraft carrying passengers with iPhones), we'll then be more than happy to depart. Please ring your call button to advise the flight attendant and your fellow passengers when you deem it ready and responsible for this multimillion-dollar aircraft and its 84 passengers to safely leave."
That's right folks. For those of you, like me, who kept saying "No way," it's really not as simple as "Hey, it's not raining in Newark anymore, let's kick this pig!"
current mood: amused
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| Sunday, November 11th, 2007
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7:09 pm - Written 11:11 on 11.11
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OK. I'm starting on the wrong 11:11 of this 11.11. But it's not Armistice Day, anymore, either, sad to say. Not that I don't think Veteran's Day is important... but I do think the point is lost and gone for many. It doesn't help that I had to remind an acquaintance, a veteran himself, why there was a "holiday weekend". The day is sadly overlooked on both counts.
I had a lengthy rant, too, but the day is almost done. Not much point to a lot of it. So I'll say this instead: Veteran's day is over, but veterans are still around the other 364 days of the year. They deserve attention, respect, and admiration more than once a year. It could be tomorrow, and it could be January. If you get the chance, whenever you get it, take it.
And I mean that in a real sense. Don't give me a "Support our Troops." "Troops" are an amorphous, faceless mass we use to distance ourself from the very real men and women in the armed services. "Troops" are a fungible commodity that's used as another resource in warfare. You can't have a "troop", you have to have many. You can't say "Thank you" to a "troop." You can't buy a round for a "troop". You can't help a "troop" get medical or mental care. You aren't proud of the "troop" in your family, and you don't keep a certain special folded flag in memory of your "troop." "Support our Troops" is a facile phrase that's easy to drop into a speech or slap on your bumper sticker - and since "troops" are an abstract concept with no discrete members, that's all you have to do to "support" them, slap on a bumper sticker and vote for the politician who will "give our troops what they need."
It's a lot harder to support the men and women of the armed forces. It takes effort. For starters, you have to think about soldiers, marines, airmen, sailors... in other words, actual individual people who've put their bodies and minds, their lives and souls, at risk for their country - Some lose it all, and many lose some portion thereof, only to come back to a system that can't help them. Not to be a total hypocrite, I admit, I've not done near enough... But at least I have the decency not to lie about it on my bumper.
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| Sunday, October 21st, 2007
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11:27 pm - The Zeusaphone?
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So, there'll be some form of update about the presentation, and today at work as well, at another time. Just not sure what to say, and haven't the zip for an exhaustive rant summarizing the trials and travails...
So, for now, I give you the Zeusaphone, which, regardless of input form, I would have much preferred to call the "Thoremin". ;)
Yes. It's the sparks generating those tones. Color me impressed.
current mood: impressed
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| Thursday, September 20th, 2007
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12:49 pm - Coulda used this yesterday...
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| Tuesday, September 18th, 2007
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9:50 pm - Tricky trichi...
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More trichinopoly experimentation. This time, it's a six-spine, 4-ply braid. Came out looking very pretty, but it's thick. Light. Just thick. Like, 2cm+ across (3/4", give or take?). Still, I think it would work alright in 4-spine, if not better, and I think I could do something higher gauge on a thinner dowel, draw it down to half that size or less...
If anyone wanted it, anyway...
There's a cropped version in the stream as well, for those who'd like a closeup without loading the whole 1024x300.
current mood: accomplished
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(16 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, September 14th, 2007
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10:15 pm - Stolen from Femmetofarad...
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A very, very, very topical meme for moi...
1. Go to http://www.careercruising.com.
2. Put in Username: nycareers, Password: landmark.
3. Take their "Career Matchmaker" questions.
4. Post the top ten results.
1. Stationary Engineer
2. Computer Support Person
3. Mathematician
4. Technical Writer
5. Power Plant Operator
6. Computer Programmer
7. Avionics Tech
8. Special Effects Technician
9. Broadcast Technician
10. Millwright
And, for my later reference, the rest are:
| 11. Industrial Machinery Mechanic | 12. Operations Research Analyst | 13. Multimedia Developer | | 14. Office Machine Repairer | 15. Costume Designer | 16. Set Designer | | 17. Makeup Artist | 18. Computer Engineer | 19. Sound Technician | | 20. Lighting Technician | 21. Disc Jockey | 22. Recording Engineer | | 23. Business Systems Analyst | 24. Critic | 25. Comedian | | 26. Communications Specialist | 27. Casting Director | 28. Musician | | 29. Writer | 30. Actuary | 31. Public Policy Analyst | | 32. Activist | 33. Political Aide | 34. Database Developer | | 35. Composer | 36. Market Research Analyst | 37. Public Relations Specialist | | 38. Web Developer | 39. Translator | 40. Print Journalist |
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, September 11th, 2007
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2:55 pm - Spongebob Hanged Man
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| Monday, September 10th, 2007
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8:33 pm - Oh... Really?
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It's bloody seldom I get an unexpected result from Memes...Your Score: House Lannister63% Dominant, 27% Extroverted, 63% Trustworthy Confident. Dangerous. Unrelentingly sexy. The master of all you survey, you are of House Lannister. ( More detail here. )ETA: Oh, also, for those who missed it over the weekend, there is a new episode of Feck it in the Oven from Friday.
current mood:  intrigued
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, September 7th, 2007
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10:06 pm - Feck it in the Oven Kitchens, Episode 6: A New Pork
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Greetings, and welcome yet again to the latest installment of Feck it in the Oven Kitchens, in which our faithful hero, in much the manner of an ancient gladiator in a B-movie, squares off against culinary disasters for your amusement.
Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?
*cough* Err, so, yeah. Today's delicious tidbit is squash pie. ragnvaeig made it last night, and I'm eating it while I type. What I cooked, on the other hand, was...
( Son of the Revenge of the Bride of Panko Chicken Dijon - Now, it's Porcine. )
current mood: accomplished
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, September 4th, 2007
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3:45 pm - Look at me, I'm a sheep!
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| Monday, September 3rd, 2007
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2:38 pm - Random crafts note...
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Well, I still remember how to crochet. For the record, it's a hell of a lot easier in an elastic medium, like, say, yarn, than an inelastic one, like, I dunno, half-hard craft wire.
current mood: amused
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| Monday, August 27th, 2007
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8:09 am - I'm a Flickr whore
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Seriously. I check my view-counts daily. I get a buzz when they're climbing. So I whore stuff on LJ to inflate the count.
This is the latest bit of jewelry-making, and the first thing that hasn't been either for ragnvaeig or myself. One of our friends had his birthday party this past Sat, and herself suggested around midweek that it'd be nice to make a gift. Since it's actually modern jewelry, there wasn't the pressure to make it look period.
The chain is in single-stitch 6-"spine" 24g tarnish-resistant "silver" craft wire, about 6mm in diameter, and perhaps 60-65cm in length1. The ration on this one was about 30:1 on wire to chain, so it probably took about 15m of wire. ragnvaeig made the pendant, and she has a better eye for aesthetic than do I.
The terminal cones were from a mixed-set sold at Michael's craft store. They're not quite wide enough at the base to go around the chain, so they're held to butt up against the chain by the wire wrapping behind the stationary rings on either end of the chain. Those are then attached to the stationary rings on ragnvaeig's pendant with v. small jump rings. There's a closer view of the pendant on my photostream, and a shot of the pendant on its own in hers.
All in all, I like the effect. Now I just have to find folks who'll buy similar pieces for 60 quid or so. ;)
1 - For those to whom centimeters don't make sense, 1cm = 0.3937008in. :)</sup>
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| Tuesday, August 21st, 2007
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7:35 pm - By My Hand
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New additions to the Crap I Made set.
Four pictures of a salt-glaze bowl, thrown on the wheel. I really like this piece - the shape just satisfied me, the foot is impressive, and people like the random carvings.
Of course, I just carved those lovely loops and such as part of my usual professor-bamboozling ways. The professor had some very unkind words for unnecessarily thick and clunky pieces. I, of course, had a lot of trouble making properly thin pieces... so I carved everything I made to lighten it up and claim a justification for the thickness. This is also the reason that it has a 1cm or so deep well going up into the foot - because I hadn't made the actual bowl deep enough, and needed to correct somehow during the carving stages.
Despite that, I like the end result a lot, so I really can't complain. I miss working on the wheel, now and again. Some day, I'd like to get back into it.
Slab construction and pinch pots can bite me, though. I hate that shit.
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